Many toddlers go through a stage where they bite their family or other children. It’s a common behavior that can be difficult to stop, and one that’s often frustrating for parents and other caregivers.
We have to keep in mind that, as with many things, this too shall pass.
My colleague, Avril P. Beckford, M.D., F.A.A.P. , a community pediatrician, shares the following advice with parents of young biters:
- All caregivers need to be “on the same page” and consistent in their approach.
- Remember that toddlers love attention and would rather have negative attention than none at all. Focus your interest away from a behavior you want to disappear.
- When a toddler bites someone, speak in a deep low voice and simply say, “no biting.”
- Turn to whoever was bitten. Give empathy and attention to them, saying, “That must hurt. Let me give you a hug.” In doing so, the biting toddler does not get unnecessary attention for the behavior, and you model empathy and compassion for all involved.
- Have courage. In the big picture, this is all part of learning for your child. Remember the “twos” as the “Terrific Twos”—not the “Terrible Twos.”
Shower extra attention on the biting victim, not the biter.
When to seek help
If someone bites you or your child, it is important that you try to prevent an infection. Clean the wound with mild soap and water, and apply antibiotic ointment. Seek medical care for a bite that is more than a superficial scratch, or if the wound develops redness, pain, swelling or pus.
When a child performs excessive biting, or if the behavior continues past 3 years of age, this may be a sign that something is troubling the child. If you’re concerned, talk to your pediatrician. A child therapist or a child development professional can also help think through potential reasons for the child’s biting and devise a plan to address it.
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Learn more about disciplining your child.
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